It's Merry Christmas in the NFL

In 1980, the duo of Willis The Guard and Vigorish wrote and sung a NFL themed Christmas song.  The song reached No. 82 on the Billboard charts despite limited airplay after legendary broadcaster Howard Cosell found the song offensive.  He found it offensive because the duo projected Howard as Santa Claus in the song.  Also Willis the Guard and Vigorish was just a pseudonym for their real names - Jerry Buckner and Gary Garcia.  That's right - Buckner and Garcia of "Pac-Man Fever" fame!  Here is there little holiday jingle called "Merry Christmas in the NFL"...



They break out of the huddle
The center snaps the ball
The quarterback's fading
He throws long, he's got it
Touchdown

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through my brain
There's footballs and thoughts
Of the upcoming game

My team colors were
Hung by the television set
In hopes they'd make it
To the Super Bowl yet

When out on the street
There arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed
To see what was the matter

And what, with my
Wondering eyes should be seen
But Howard Cosell in a black limosine

(CHORUS)
(It's Merry Christmas) in the NFL
(Merry Christmas) and we wish you well
(Here's a helmet, a whistle too)
(And cheerleader pictures
Autographed to you)

He warmed up, then sprinted
And dodged as he came
Whistling and shouting
And calling by name

Now Houston, now Dallas
Now Pittsburgh, now Green Bay
On Denver, on Cleveland
On Oakland and L.A.

His eyes, how they twinkled
His nose like a cherry
He brought Christmas cards
From Franco and Terry

And best wishes from Fran
And Dandy Don, too
Along with a pair of
Their old football shoes

(CHORUS)

He opened his bag
Full of presents for me
Jerseys and kneepads
And kicking tees

And record books
Containing all of the facts
And highlight tapes
For my Betamax

He selected the tape
Of Super Bowl Seven
And we recapped the game
'Til well past eleven

When the last play was run
He picked his bag off the floor
Ran a play up the middle
And right out the door

He lit a cigar, smiled and then
Motioned his arm
First down and ten

And I heard him exclaim
As he drove out of sight
Merry Christmas to all
See you next Monday night

(CHORUS)

(It's Merry Christmas) in the NFL
(Merry Christmas)
Hey, that's Pete Rozelle
(Here's a helmet, a whistle too)
Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
(And cheerleader pictures)
Jingle all the way
(Autographed to you)

(It's Merry Christmas)
Hey, Cosell
How about next Christmas
(Merry Christmas)
Bringing Don Meridith
He's my favorite TV actor

(Here's a helmet, a whistle too)
Aw, I love football
(And cheerleader pictures)